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Healers and caregivers can sense the swelling of fear and uneasiness in our collective consciousness. Climate change, reproductive rights, discrimination, and terrorism rule our screens, our focus, and our emotions. In the last decade, the embers of division and fear have grown to roaring flames. You're not alone in fearing what the next few years will bring.
And...
We've been here before. Let's remember what tools and resources we still have and work together to cultivate more.
As always, you have to prioritize your health and well-being. There is a reason we are told to secure our oxygen masks before assisting others. Otherwise, we burn out before we make a difference. Take a break from social media, eat dinner with the family, plan something fun for yourself, or call in sick from work and other caregiving responsibilities (whenever possible). Check out my other blog posts for more ideas on taking care of yourself and setting boundaries for self-care. Consider starting (or resuming) therapy if you aren't already seeing a therapist.
Other people can have their feelings without you holding the burden. When the people we care for struggle, it is hard not to suffer along with them. After all, your compassion and care for others is probably what drives you to take care of others all the time. But when we can't contain our empathy, when we can't stop feeling what others feel, it's a problem. Uncontained empathy does not help our loved one's suffering end sooner, but it does make it more difficult for you to cope with the stress of caregiving. It may reduce your quality of life and lead to health issues over the long term. This is easier said than done, so talk with your therapist if you have difficulties putting other people's emotions down when you're not with them.
Remember the long arc of the moral universe. In moments of panic or fear resulting from current events, I remind myself of the longer story. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice." Students of history will tell you of the two-step-forward, one-step-back pattern across human history regarding justice. The results of every election since the dawn of humankind are part of that arc. We just need to keep the pressure toward justice at each point.
My brother is a student of history; I learned long ago not to question him during trivia if the topic was history-related. A few months ago, he jokingly told me that whenever he hears someone over 60 say the world is ending, he wants to remind them of the year 1968: Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated, the Soviet Union invaded the now Czech Republic, Robert F. Kennedy was assassinated, the Tet Offensive, students led anti-war protests around the world, Apollo 8 circled the Moon, and Nixon won the White House with 43% of the vote. We have seen this level of chaos before, and more than likely, we will experience it again after a period of stability. This is what humans tend to do.
Support other healers, caregivers, and change-makers. You can't dismantle systematic oppression across the state, country, or world on your own. Sorry to burst your bubble. But the good news is you don't have to. Other people are already working to improve the world in ways you haven't even thought of yet! When you start feeling overwhelmed, anxious, fearful, and powerless, I suggest donating to a group doing the work the world needs. For example, I can't do all of Planned Parenthood's work, but I can send them monthly money to support them in doing their work.
For example, in addition to Planned Parenthood, I donate to the following organizations to help address the suffering that keeps me up at night: One Nation Walking Together, The Martín-Baró Initiative, Black Lives Matter, Save the Children, Jewish Council for Public Affairs, Colorado Public Radio, and the Palestine Children's Relief Fund. I don't give a lot to each organization, $10 - $15 a month, but having predictable funds is essential for non-profits.
Why does giving to others help me? There are several reasons! First, helping anyone helps everyone. We all benefit when our fellow humans have their basic physical, emotional, and social needs met. More immediately, giving to others has been shown to boost oxytocin, dopamine (happy chemicals in the brain), and serotonin (which regulates your mood). Lastly, we stand against fear, oppression, division, and greed by donating to groups that support the most vulnerable.
It's okay to take some time to lick our wounds and gird our loins for what happens next. Some of us might take longer to grieve than others. That's okay. As long as we keep taking care of ourselves and our loved ones and supporting other healers and caregivers, we will navigate this chapter of history with all the tools we have collected over the years.
If you live in Colorado and are interested in beginning therapy, email me at Lindsey@GuidedJourneyTherapy.com, and we can schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation.
Disclaimer Fine Print: This website is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used as a replacement for private psychotherapy services. Guided Journey Therapy does not provide psychotherapy services through their website in any capacity.